I wonder

Sometimes I wonder,
If I were happy, would I still grab a pen?
Or would I have words,
Just stuck deep, down my throat?

Sometimes, I wonder,
If I were happy, would I still bleed on paper?
Or would I just pile it all up
Deep in my heart?

Sometimes, I wonder,
If I were happy, would I still spill these emotions on the paper?
Or would I just face you, hold your hand
And never let you go?

Sometimes, I wonder,
If I were happy, would I still chase the fictional stream?
Or would your real presence
Just satisfy mine?

Sometimes, I wonder,
If I were happy, would I still cry onto my notebook, deep into the night
Or would I just, have my emotions
Held together in my heart?

Sometimes I wonder.
Oh, I really do wonder.